Small Attendants on
Your Big Day?

Having young children as a part of the wedding party can be a very special way to enhance a relationship and make memories that will last a lifetime for the bride, the groom and the young attendant. Children can create and inspire those spontaneous moments that can add laughter and lightheartedness to your wedding day. It can also be a distraction if those children end up acting less “delightful” than you had hoped…

How Young is Too Young?
There is probably nothing more adorable than a toddler dressed in white tulle and fluff or a teeny tiny tux. But as tempting as it is to make your two year old niece or nephew a miniature attendant on your wedding day, remember that children this age can be highly unpredictable  Especially if the family has traveled from a distance to be part of the festivities and the child is on a schedule or routine that is different than the norm. If a child is just starting to walk or is still in diapers, they are probably too young to have any idea of the importance and magnitude of a wedding, and will most likely be happier as an onlooker than an active participant of the wedding party. 

If you make children under the age of five a part of the wedding party, you may want to have an alternate plan of action if the young attendant balks at the long walk down the aisle or is too revved up to stand for a long session of formal portraits.The easiest solution for the ceremony is if the mother, older sibling or other relative close to the child is in the wedding party, let them take that long walk down the aisle together. Another alternative might be if the child has a favorite doll or teddy bear, have a seamstress make a matching gown for the toy as an attendant’s gift. Not only will the child be thrilled, but it will look planned if the toy ends up clutched in the child’s hands during the ceremony or in candid photos. Better a smiling child holding their favorite toy, than a crying child deprived of it!

No matter what the age of the children you are considering for your wedding party, know the personality of the child. Even the most gregarious child can become shy or unpredictable when presented with being thrust into the spotlight. Make sure they are in attendance at the rehearsal, and have been well coached in their duties for the day. Make sure no responsibility is left to a young child that is crucial to the outcome of the ceremony or reception. For example, NEVER put the real rings on a ring-bearer’s pillow.  Some pillows even come with fake rings already attached.

Age Appropriate Styling
These days some young girls are six going on sixteen and others still want to look and feel like a fairy princess well into adolescence. Finding gowns that will compliment your wedding party and make your flower girl feel comfortable can be quite a chore.  Younger attendants should be in gowns that are tea length and cut closer to the neck to avoid tripping over a floor-length hem or having straps that fall off their small shoulders.  Older girls may feel flattered if they are asked to wear a floor length gown or something with a style more similar to the bridesmaids and adult attendants. Any gown should be test-driven with the proper undergarments so that the “itch factor” can be determined and addressed before purchase. Nothing is more important than comfort.

If you’ve got a flower girl that is happier in soccer cleats than tulle and lace, you might want to consider a style of gown that is A-line or shift cut. These styles are less fussy and will make a resistant girly-girl more comfortable. If you are having multiple flower girls in a wide age range, pick a manufacturer that can make different dress styles in a similar fabric or complimentary detailing so that everyone can feel that they are picking something special, yet the fluidity of the wedding attire will be maintained.

Making it Special for your young attendants
Go shopping together and make the entire process of participating in the wedding a bonding experience. Plan a day on the town for just the two of you. The first stop could be high tea or brunch at a “lady-like” restaurant or hotel and a heart-to-heart chat about why the flower girl is so important to the big day and how she is expected to act. Follow this conversation with shopping for the perfect flower girl gown, and then finish off the day with a special reward outing that is tailored to the interests of the child.

By LOLA Event Productions